Why Bother Making Plans when You Have A Sun God to Ruin Them?
by Queen What's-Her-Face
Summary: Thalia and Phoebe had it all planed out-drink coffee, hand out brochures, shoot some arrows and don't-mess-with-me glares in their spare time. But being demigods, they definitely should have learned by now that their plans never work out quite the way they should.
1. A Godly Idiot Tries to Outsmart Me

I'm Thalia. Daughter of Zeus, and Lieutenant of Artemis.

Yes, that Thalia.

You may have heard about me from my friend, Percy Jackson, and let me tell you, if you have, you haven't heard the whole story. I mean, sure, Percy has done some dangerous things. But I've been through worse.

Like today, for example. It was the 25,000 Annual Olympus Shoot Off, and I was charged with a _very_ important task. I was going to scout out new recruitments for the Hunters. I know, it doesn't sound life threatening but look at it this way.

Half the tournament's population wanted me dead, half of the population would do anything to join the Hunters, and 80% of the population was male.

Let that sink in.

I gritted my teeth as Phoebe and I made our way through the tournament, the crowd of people parting around us, some jeering, and some in awe. "Nothing to see here folks," I muttered, shrugging off an unwelcomed satyr hand. Phoebe glanced around and pointed to the registration desk, a good fifty meters in front of us.

Just as we were about to approach the booth- _poof_ -a tall, tan young man with blindingly white teeth and golden blond hair suddenly stood right in front of us. "Thalia," Apollo grinned, "how _is_ my baby sister's lieutenant?"

"I am doing just fine, and the rest of the hunters are as well," I nodded curtly, and attempted to push past him. "Whoa, slow down there half-sister chick," he chuckled, "I need a favor." Apollo began to recite:

 _"_ _I made a mistake,_

 _I've gotten myself into,_

 _A sticky pickle"_

Grinning, and spreading his arms out wide, he waited for the recognition of his oh-so inspiring haiku. "Um, wow Apollo," I grimaced, "that was revolutionary."

"Listen, I need a favor," Apollo repeated, "I-uh-challenged Helios,"

"You did what?" I spat out, shaking my head.

"It's no big deal, really. We just got back into our spat about who _actually_ the almighty deity of the sun and there is a very good possibility that I might have challenged him to… a duel of sorts."

I groaned, figuring that this would definitely not work out in my favor. _And here I was, thinking that I could spend the day handing out brochures, drinking nectar-espresso lattes, cleaning off the tips of my celestial bronze arrows while shooting off my 'don't mess with me' vibe,_ I thought, zoning out, waiting for Apollo to get on with his story.

"And then I said 'I challenge you anywhere, anytime, anyway. You set the parameters'. Did I think that was stupid at the time? No! I was merely defending my honor," Apollo ranted on, when I cut him off.

"How exactly does this pertain to me? I have things to do, places to be."

"Right, I was just getting to that," he said nervously, "He decided to have two mortal champions duke it out in a one on one archery extravaganza."

"No," I said indignantly, realizing exactly what he meant, "no, no, no, there is no way you can make me."

"Aw, c'mon, I'm Artemis's big brother, what I say goes, right?" Apollo grinned nervously, fiddling with the pair of sunglasses hanging around his neck.

"Yeah-no," I winced, "first off, when has Lady Artemis _ever_ listened to you? And second, you're male. The Hunters typically shun leadership, directions, and orders offered and/or given by men." Phoebe snickered at this, flipping her braid behind her back. She caught my eyes and fingered her bowstring.

I paused for a moment. Artemis _had_ given us her _expressed_ permission to send a few arrows through "the big fiery ball of gas" if he got on our nerves.

This is to say, we fired at will quite often.

"Newsflash, Apollo," I grinned, finding my loop hole, "I'm not mortal." Ever since I had pledged myself to Artemis, I've stopped aging, and let me tell you, it felt good. I felt strong, stronger than I did before that is to say, and I suppose it was because not only did my father's lightning course through my veins, but Artemis's eternal moonlight as on top of that. What can I say, when it comes to being an immortal demigod, I kicked butt.

And kicking butt is exactly what I plan to do.

"Please, you have to help your half-brother out here. Weren't you mortal once? I'm sure that counts," he pleaded. Apollo smiled so brilliantly that Phoebe and I actually had to block out the blinding light emanating from his grin. Dozens of wood nymphs all around us swooned like flies dropping dead. Phoebe sighed and said, "Thalia, just represent him in the challenge, and then after, we can actually have time to do what we came here to do." She sent Apollo a pointed glare as to say, _be glad I'm the diplomat of the bunch._

"But," I protested, when Phoebe shot _me_ a pointed glare. I gulped. I may be Lady Artemis's lieutenant, but Phoebe could be pretty authoritative, not to mention intimidating, if need be. Turning to Apollo, I solemnly nodded. He grinned, and waved his hand, motioning for us to follow him.

Leading us to the main stage of the festival, Apollo pushed on his sunglasses, and spread his arms out wide. The crowd in front of us parted and he sent the adoring crowd a sunny smile. I scrunched up my nose at that, wondering if Apollo commanded the attention of the people, monsters and other mythological creatures because he was a god, or because he was, and I'll admit it, an attractive guy. Rolling my eyes, I took in my surroundings. A stage, with a large black canopy loomed in front of us. In the middle of the stage, a blinding light burst into existence. I mentally noted to bring sunglasses where ever I went, in case of randomly having to deal with not one, but _two_ sun deities.

As the three of us walked through, a loud voice coming from the light echoed throughout the stadium. "And who have _you_ brought, Apollo? I'm surprised you showed your face," A tall, middle aged man jeered, practically glowing.

Helios.

Apollo's smile faltered and I put my hand on his shoulder. If I was going to go through with this, I might as well support him. "I'm Thalia, Daughter of Zeus, Lieutenant of Lady Artemis, and Champion of Apollo. But you know, no biggie," I taunted, brandishing Aegis, rattling off a handful of my long list of impressive epithets. "I'm surprised _you_ showed _your_ face, Helios." Behind be I could feel Phoebe smirk, and I advanced, mortals and immortals a like backing away from my shield. Helios looked taken aback for a moment, but he covered it up with a sneer. Reaching the metal fence surrounding the stage where Helios was waiting, I grasped the railing in one hand and leapt over easily. Swinging one leg up and onto the stage, I pushed myself up, and stood to my full height and sauntered over to Helios.

"You have much arrogance, girl," Helios rumbled, and I felt the edges of my cloths singe a bit from the angry heat pulsing off of him.

"I prefer confidence, actually," I smirked and looked around the stage, "Where, exactly, is _your_ champion, eh?"

Helios smiled, and I narrowed my eyes. Almost instantaneously, my senses sharpened, and the nod of his head told me all I needed to know. A faint _swish_ behind me, and my bow was loaded. Spinning around, I found myself face to face with a boy with fiery blond hair, arrow nocked and pointed at his throat. His sword was raised, and was clearly intending to strike, but his face gave away that he was not used to being the one taken by surprise.

A bitter scowl streaked across his face. "I'm Quinn Thompson, Son of Helios."


	2. Flattery Can Go a Long Way

**Uh, hello everyone,**

 **I'm sorry that this took so long, but I wanted to have a nice portion of the story for you all to read.**

 **I hope you like it :)**

 _I'm Quinn Thompson, Son of Helios._

I blinked. "Wait-what?" I said incredulously, and Quinn smirked, obviously thinking my shock was because of his lineage. I turned to Apollo, who was standing at the side of the stage. "If Helios chose one of his children, why couldn't you choose Will or someone?" I huffed indignantly, and Quinn's face twisted into a disappointed pout, "Yeah no, I get that you're his son, but honestly, I've never heard of you." Even I winced at how harsh those words came out.

"Well, Will's been a bit, ah, preoccupied lately," Apollo's face spread into a grin, and wriggled his eyebrows. "And no other mortal can beat your phenomenal archery skills," he chuckled nervously.

I paused. Apollo and I both knew that wasn't _necessarily_ true, but I've always been one for compliments. A silly, smug little smile played across my face nonetheless. "Right," I said, turning back to Quinn and Helios.

"And besides, Will's not the best at sword fighting," Apollo continued rationally, and if I had actually had the nectar macchiato I had planned on, I definitely would have spit it out.

"EXCUSE ME, Apollo. I'm afraid I've misheard you, SWORD FIGHTING? You told me that this was an archery extravaganza," I growled, and Apollo laughed nervously.

"Don't stress, sis-of sorts that is. You've got this. There might be a, uh, few other events. Are you sure I said an archery extravaganza? I obviously meant a full out battle of wits and skill to defend the honor of the _Sun God_ ," Apollo said that last part to Helios, looking over my shoulder at the duo waiting for the, I guess it's a tournament now, to start.

I looked at Phoebe. _Do I have to?_ My eyes pleaded, and Phoebe solemnly nodded her head, but with an amused twinkle in her traitorous eyes. I shook my head, brushed off this, well, not very surprising turn of events, if you think about it, and marched over to Quinn. "Very well, so are we going to duke this out or what?" I said, giving Quin the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he was just as blindsided as I was, or maybe he felt pressured because his dad was Helios.

But Quinn sent me a venomous smile and smirked, "Come on than, little girl, this shouldn't take long."

Shocked silence filled the whole stadium. "What are you, eighteen? Nineteen?" I asked, dangerously quiet, and Quinn nodded his head. "Well then, I'm about five years your senior." Looking at both Helios and Quinn's dumfounded expressions, I grinned and said bemused, "You're right though, this shouldn't take long at all."

Apollo Helios, Quinn and I stood in front of the administration booth, the same one that I was trying to get to all along. Fiddling with the fletching of my arrows, we all watched the nervous looking wood nymph shuffling around the schedule.

"I'm trying the best I can, Lord Apollo," the nymph stammered. Helios growled and the nymph hastily added, "And Lord Helios."

"It's alright, it's not like _I'll_ shoot a fireball your way," Apollo chuckled, shaking his head at Helios as if to say, _I'm_ obviously _the favorite._

The nymph laughed anxiously, "I suppose I can squeeze your…tournament…in Saturday the 19th through Wednesday the 23rd…." She tucked her mossy hair behind her ear and handed Helios and Apollo each a release form. "We'll have to cancel a few demonstrations, but we should be able to make work," the nymph handed Quinn and I a pen, "You'll both need to sign saying that you swear on the River Styx to follow all of our rules and requirements, etcetera, and that you'll both do your best to represent your respective sun deities, and do as they would. You take responsibility for your actions, and fully understand that they will reflect upon [respective sun deities] for many ages to come."

I smiled and swiftly signed my name. Even though I didn't swear on the River Styx out loud, I could still feel the familiar rumble sealing my fate as I dotted my "i" and handed over the pen to Quinn.

"Here you go, kid," I simpered, "Try not to hurt yourself."

Quinn sneered and yanked the pen out of my grasp. With a flourish, his name appeared on the contract, sending another signature rumble through the universe. He politely handed the pen back to the nymph who, to my chagrin, blushed and mumbled something about…chipmunks?

"It's settled then," Helios smiled coldly, sending shivers down my spine. You'd think, if he truly was the Sun Deity, he wouldn't have been able to be so, well, cold.

At least I had a solid, you know, two days to train for this competition. My shot is deadly accurate, and I still dominate when it comes to spear fighting. But _sword fighting?_ That I have never exactly excelled at. I could wield a knife, or a bolt of lightning (perk of the trade), but _sword fighting?_ I twisted Aegis around my wrist nervously, and prayed to my father for better nerves management.

Phoebe put her arm around my shoulder and guided me towards our campsite. "Keep it together, Lieutenant," she opened the silver flap of our tent and turned on our latté machine-which I named Simone, naturally. A few minutes later, after I sat down cross legged on the plush throw on the floor and re-applied my black nail polish, Phoebe sat down next to me with two steaming drinks.

 _Hmmmmmmmmm…_ I smiled, taking a sip. With friends-and coffee-like this, who needs rivals and semi-mortal enemies anyways?

"THALIA!" Apollo called out, "no time to rest, we've got a lot of-er, I mean very little-work to do because you're already so, uh, awesome-like me!"

I groaned, and set my beautiful, lovely drink on a side table and brushed of my jeans. "Well, Phoebe, I do believe that you have some performance reviews, profiles, résumés, and other incredibly boring paperwork to finish while I'm gone. Try to get through at least the first hundred or so applications for the Hunters by the time I get back." I smiled heartlessly, as if to say _neither-of-us-are-getting-out-of-this._

"Yes, ma'am," was Phoebe's disgruntled response as I marched out of the tent.


	3. Kelp Head to the Rescue

**Hello everyone!**

 **I'm sorry that I've taken so long to post another chapter. I've been pretty busy.**

 **Anywho, here is a new chapter, and I hope everyone enjoys it!**

 **Oh, and I don't own the Percy Jackson characters, plot, and all.**

* * *

 _"_ _Yes, ma'am," was Phoebe's disgruntled response as I marched out of the tent._

I pushed the silver tent flap out of the way and ran straight into Apollo. "Good, I was just looking for you," he drawled in his almost twangy, yet almost irritating way of his, "The training arena is that way." I nodded solemnly and we headed down a long and sketchy looking trail into the dark, shadowy forest surrounding the festival.

My kind of trail.

We stopped when we reached an old, marble arena. Vines were growing all around and a small stream worked its way through the cracked ruins of pillars.

"Woah," I said, but was stopped short when Apollo thrusted his hand in front of me. A gilded burgundy rope hung between where Apollo and I stood, and the arena.

"Allow me," He started, unhooking the rope from its ring.

Bad. Very, very bad.

I huffed and snatched the rope from his godly hands. "I'm pretty sure I'm capable of moving a rope, but you know, that's just me," I gritted my teeth. Yes, I know, he was trying to be polite; however Lady Artemis has a policy:

Don't let Apollo touch _anything_.

 _Especially_ not ropes.

 _Not_ after the _incident._

But that's a different story.

"Thalia, meet your trainer," Apollo grinned, and waved his hands about dramatically, flourishing towards a black-haired boy. I was about to protest, there was NO WAY IN HADES I was going to take instructions from _a boy_ , when Apollo chuckled and said, "There you go, Thalia. I'll check in on you later." Marching up to the boy, I put a hand on his shoulder. The boy turned around, and a set of sea green eyes squinted into a goofy grin.

"Kelp Head!" I chuckled, raising my other arm and punching him in the shoulder.

"Hey, Pinecone Face," Percy winced, but his smile popped back on his face. "Is it true that the legendary _Thalia Grace_ , Daughter of _Zeus_ , Lieutenant of _Artemis_ , and Champion of _Apollo_ , needs _my_ help?"

"Yup, and I'll even buy you a blueberry scones and one of those _Percy Jackson, Hero of Olympus_ LIMETED EDITION bobble-head figurine to match your pajama set," I said cheekily. Percy's face blazed, and if it was possible, the fiery shade of red intensified when a blond head of curly hair _poofed_ into existence. Holding her Yankees hat in one hand, Annabeth said dumbfounded, "Seaweed Brain, you said that you fed those to Mrs. O'Leary!"

"Hey Annabeth, it's never too late to join the Hunters, you know," I said with a wink, knowing that there was no way she would ever accept. She had Percy. "It's awfully tempting right now, Thals," Annabeth scowled at Percy, but her eyes were twinkling.

How mushy.

…

Like mashed potatoes?

I walked over to Annabeth and gave her a strong hug. She stood a good two inches taller than me (a negative side effect of not aging-you don't grow anymore either), but that didn't stop me from ruffling her hair. "What brings _you_ here, Annie?" I crooned, knowing she hated the name. But I also knew she has a soft spot for me, and there is NO WAY IN HADES that I wouldn't utilize it.

Annabeth rolled her large grey eyes and looked over at Percy. "We, that is to say Percy and I, were shopping for apartments in New Rome. That's when Apollo rolled up in a fancy orange sports car, and zapped us into the backseat," Annabeth said bemused, and fingered her father's ring that was hanging on her necklace.

Percy cut in and said, "Yeah, and then he said that you needed to 'kick that Pretentious Son of Helios's butt'. And some profanity, and then something about-"

"I think she gets it, Seaweed Brain," Annabeth smiled, the corners of her eyes crinkling, "Plus I figured you needed some moral support."

"Yes, indeed," I nodded formally, stifling a grin, "Alright, Jackson. Dare I say it, tell me what to do."

"You don't hear that every day," Annabeth muttered, but said, "Go easy on Percy, Thalia. I'm off to the coffee lounge. Iris Message me when you're done?" She kissed his cheek and sauntered off to the main area of the festival, leaving the roped off private training arena.

"Absolutely, Wise Girl," Percy nodded and turned to me, "Let's get the show on the road!"

* * *

 **So yeah...**

 **I'm having trouble with the technicalities of sword fighting, so I'll do some research. I can't promise when I can ost again, but hopefully, quite soon!**

 **Until next time :)**


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